You need not wear a parachute
If you should plummet from the sky.
For gravity is just a hoax
That’s spread by all those liberal folks*.
If what you’re hearing irks, just mute!
Just listen to The Crooked Guy!
You need not care he rakes in cash
Entices you to act the ash.
You need not wear a safety belt,
And brakes are over-rated too.
Your faith is bountiful and strong!
It’s clear that nothing can go wrong!
For all that matters? How you felt!
Who cares at all if it was true!
You prove to all how free you’ll be
Repeating Pravda endlessly.
You break a bone or crack your head —
Then see your favorite talk show host!
Some salted trash or ragweed mash
Will cure each ill; just send them cash.
If you should die from what they said,
Well, they don’t care — so why your ghost?
With Voldemort at last in power
You’ll doubtless think your finest hour.
The problem is dictatorship
Is something people die to leave!
So why lean in to tyranny?
Have faith in our democracy.
Don’t pee into the power strip;
Insist on rights but act naive.
Adult’s a verb; not just a noun.
Lie’s not truth and up’s not down.
- This is satire. Gravity is not a hoax. And, should you feel compelled to jump out of an airplane from high in the sky, you will definitely want a parachute and not rely instead on a Faux News commentator’s words to cushion your fall.
Essays on America: The Stopping Rule
Essays on America: The Update Problem
Where does your loyalty lie?
Essays on America: My cousin Bobby.