“Nyet, nyet, Puppy. I told you. Polls mean nothing. You just stick to your strength: Cruelty.”
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“If you say so, Poppa Putey Bear. But it’s hard. You know? Everyone’s out to get me.”
“I told you before. Don’t listen to anyone who disagrees with you.”
“I know. I know. But it’s so hard to be Dick-tater. Maybe, I should have more rallies. But we still have the damned CHINA virus. If I have a rally, a rally it might kill some of the people who’d vote for me. Maybe none. Maybe all. Maybe some. Who knows? We’ll see.”
“Da! Da! Hold a rally! Great idea. Just have them sign a waiver. They won’t read it! They’ll just sign it. Make a joke about it. Blame it on the lawyers. They’ll laugh with you. And, you’ll be safe from lawsuits. A few hundred of your followers dying is a good thing. Powerful. It shows how much you value their lives — not at all. And that will make all the others realize that you are super-powerful because you can get folks to kill themselves! Another day, another step toward Dictator.”
“I hate being President. I want to be Dick-Tater!”
“You will be. Just be patient.”
“But what if they wake up and realize I haven’t actually done anything to make their life better. Not in three years.”
“They don’t care! They only care about what you tell them to care about. Tell them — this is a good one — tell them you would have made their world perfect but you just don’t have enough power. Tell them you need absolute power to make their world perfect. Just keep telling them how great it’s going to be and how great they have it now. Just keep telling them there is no virus. And even if they do get sick, tell them they can take a bogus drug or drink bleach.”
“But what if one of them dies from taking the drug?”
“Now, Puppy, we’ve talked about this before. What do you always say?”
“It’s not my fault. It’s Obama. It’s China. It’s WHO. It’s a liberal hoax. It’s the fake media. It’s Hillary’s fault. It’s the CDC’s fault. It’s George Soros’s fault. It’s Muslims. It’s Black People. It’s NATO’s fault. It’s the UN’s fault. It’s the governor’s fault. It’s the mayor’s fault. It’s the ANTIFA! It’s the Mexicans. It’s the immigrants. It’s the Deep State. It’s the anti-conspiracy theory conspiracy!”
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“Okay, okay, Puppy. I can only stand so much of your BS. I have things to do, Puppy. Don’t call until you have something important to say. Understand?”
“Yes, Poppy Putey Bear.”
“Good boy. Now go kick Billious Barr or Missy Lindsey to make yourself feel better.”
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Series of Fictional Stories that are meant to illustrate how the mind of a fictional child sociopath works.
Donnie Takes a Blue Ribbon for Spelling
