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Trying to put emotion and politics aside, here’s one way to look at #45 from a purely mechanistic viewpoint. 

He’s an open loop system. 

He wants absolute control about what actions will be taken by our government. 

He wants absolute immunity from accurate feedback about what the impact of those actions are. 

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Where in life would you accept such a system? Would you hire an engineer who designed such a system? Would you put your life in their hands? The lives of your friends and family into such hands?

I think not. 

#45 likes to call his actions mighty and powerful. He does it himself and requires all his lackeys to join in the chorus. “Look at me! I’m powerful and mighty.” If you’re driving your car blindfolded, it is not a feature that you are also breaking the speed limit.

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What Donald Trump cares about is feeling adored by millions. That’s literally all he cares about along with absolute power.

He does not care about how many people are killed or made unhappy. 

Solution? Take him out of the White House and put him somewhere appropriate to someone with that mindset and his set of skills. And where would that be? 

A Theme Park. Trumpland.

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It is staffed mainly by paid actors. Donnie “makes decisions” (all absurd) and gives hate-filled speeches and sends nasty tweets to people. Crowds get to come in and watch the performances. There are other littler parts for other crooks. 

There could be “Failed-State Department Land” where fans can watch PomPomPeo violate the Hatch Act and make nice with people proud to be brutal dictators. The decor? I’d say a child’s representation of various lands; e.g., Egypt = Pyramids; Australia = Sydney Opera House; France = Eiffel Tower; America = The Kremlin.

“Injustice Department Land” where Bilious Barr makes up evidence, ponders weightily the meaning of “suggests” and teaches a class on how to Epstein people. The decor here should be inspired by the London Torture Museum. 

“Education Department Land” is run by Bet-She’s Devoid and every day, she takes Monopoly money from poor people and hands it to rich people so they can give their kids an educational advantage just because maybe having just a financial advantage and a health care advantage and a environmental advantage and a nutritional advantage aren’t enough. The decor is stolen directly from the game of Life. (Yes, of course, it would be a copyright violation; but it is Trumpland! Laws mean nothing!)

Bringing up the rear, we could have “USPS Land” where crowds roar in appreciation as Loser NoJoy takes apart TV’s and microwaves and then trades parts and re-assembles them to make them more “efficient.” Of course, to make it more fun, he knows nothing whatever about TV’s or microwaves. 

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In the center ring, of course, we have #45 himself sitting behind his Irresolute Desk signing Amazing Bill after Amazing Bill. Just to make it more fun, every once in a while, he will open up the dark leather binder and instead of a Bill signing ceremony, he will sign a check for a porn star to keep quiet. 

Around the periphery of the Evil Office are arrayed a score of large screen TV’s showing every remaining news channel: FAUX NEWS1, FAUX NEWS2, FAUX NEWS3…FAUX NEWS20. They are all broadcasting the wonderful news about how fantastic #45 is; proclaiming that this is unprecedented, ground-shattering, galaxy-altering, universe tilting, amazingly amazing stuff, sanctioned by GOD himself and anointed with secret Oil of Q-Anon and OKKK’d by White Nationalists and Pedophiles for POTUS.

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It’s all fine.

But, importantly, none of it is real. Executive orders are not carried out. People’s lives are not ruined. Innocent people are not killed. In the real world, laws and justice still matter and democracy is more than a slogan. 

Trump is happy as a clam. It’s what he’s been striving for the whole time! In his own words, “I take no responsibility.” 

Others may object that he is essentially being lied to. 

Wait. What’s that knocking I hear? Hello? Karma, is that you? I thought so. Come on in.

He’s told 22,000 lies since being Putin office. It doesn’t matter to him if he’s being lied to. Why should it matter to you? He doesn’t want to know the truth. He can’t take the truth. Heel Spurs hasn’t got the courage. Fine. Let him play President in a pageant named after him in a park named after him. He’ll be happy. And America will not be destroyed as it is when the game he’s playing has actual consequences on real people’s real lives.

Now, it may be objected that although it would be good for America, it would also be expensive. It would be expensive to build. But there are many who could use the work. We have the highest unemployment in decades. However, it would pay for itself very quickly! The capital pay-back and the operating expenses would be covered by the 40% of Americans who would gladly pay for an up-front look see at Trump playing Trump in Trumpland. For an extra fee, they could have a signed MAGA hat! (The signature is just printed but who cares?). And these MAGA hats will all say “Made in America” on them! Of course, they won’t actually be made in America, but here in Trumpland, there is no rule of law. Lying is standard practice.

Good gracious! I almost forgot to mention McConnell-Food Court. Here, there is a giant turtle standing and spouting nonsense the whole time the park is open. Since, like every other amusement park, there’s no place else to eat, the hamberders are expensive and gristley, with a faint aroma of dead cat but in Trumpland, you can always grab some, er,  covfefe or Clorox to wash it down. Nothing ever actually happens here except the droning sound and the buying and consumption of food. Needless to say, there are none of those horrible plant-based options available that hippies — or whatever they’re called these days — want to eat just to keep from ruining the planet for human habitation or some other weird liberal thing like that. 

Trumpland: Put him where he belongs – running an amusement park – not running the country.

Trump would be happy. 

Trump’s supporters would be happy. 

The rest of America would be ecstatic.

It isn’t a perfect solution, but it’s a lot better than what’s happening right now.

The main drawback is that Putin would not be happy.

In the immortal words of Melania Trump visiting kids in cages when their mothers brought them legally to America’s border to seek asylum: 

“I don’t care. Do you?”  

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